Orientales Putas!

(9th ave and Hudson? What does that MEAN? hahahaha!)

Last Sunday, we ended up drinking with J's friends from Kaplan. Apparently, there was a girl there who had a crush on her classmate so she got the wrong idea (thought J was after the guy) so she kinda got pissed. We thought it would be easier if we just left but the other girls told us to stay. So, we did.




We ended up drinking on the rooftop of their apartment.
The moon was full...with beer and drunken laughter.

"EXCUUSE, Why is two?"

Read more »

Is evanescence--fleetingness--a necessary element of the thing that most moves us?"
--Gregory Maguire

Read more »

Mikha's Fragile World

Read more »

We rejoice in our broken-ness.

"How children love the broken thing! And a puzzle is for the piecing together, especially for the young, who still believe it can be done."

Read more »

Where's Fluffy

" The way you're moving in your sleep
The way you look before you leap
The strange illusions that you keep,
You don't know, but I'm noticing. "

Read more »

No way out.

I'm so screwed.

I just found out that there are no trains to Boston in Turner Falls. Kill me now.

Read more »

No Titles

In between waking and dreaming
Of drunken stars and white silences,
Their gazes articulated what they felt
With words that would never be born.

for W.

Read more »

On Loss and Recycling

I've learned to accept that we need to adjust, that making decisions is also part of growth and survival. I've come to live with the dying of one part of me that belongs to the past and the resurrection of the parts that have transcended the pain.

In a way, there's the struggle to survive in spite of always feeling a helpless sense of loss. I simply comfort myself with the promise of a future. Its urgency of salvation, this need to recycle--evaporating the past as I move on, if only to return changed, falling joyfully to the depths below.

Read more »

Counting down

Communicating from a distance is a tough love affair.

I am pretty sure that the risks that I'm taking now is well worth it. No regrets. There's the future to look forward to...besides the struggle to preserve my present. But the dull-ache in my chest is not something that I hope to get used to.. I just know that I'd be so much happier with him being around. My own, personal, uplifter.

7 months to go...

Read more »

cheeky!

When have we ever been this sofffffttt??

Read more »

From the 25th of September 2006 'til today.

Just something I heard. And I just have to sigh and agree.

Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past can be any different.

Read more »

A Feeling of Kinship...

This is from an interview with Michelle Williams...same Elle magazine!

Her smile comes easily but is complicated, never carefree. "I'm always aware of the whole," Williams says. "I have that feeling inside, like when something really tickles or delights me--it's not singular. I recognize all the awful things in the world, and in spite of them, I can still laugh." This hyperawareness has come at a price. "For so long, I felt like a walking open wound everywhere I went," she says. "There's this Joan Didion quote about being afflicted from an early age with a presentiment of loss. Did I come into the world like that? Or was I kind of gifted that?

Read more »

I was reading Elle magazine today and there was this excerpt from a poem by Galway Kinnell:

You scream, waking up from a nightmare.
When I sleepwalk
into your room, and pick you up,
and hold you up in the moonlight, you cling to me
hard,
as if clinging would save us. I think
you think
I will never die, I think I exude
to you the permanence of smoke or stars,
even as
my broken arms heal themselves around you.

Read more »

Sedona

Chapel of the Holy Cross

view inside the chapel...



I went to Sedona today. It's a place in Arizona known for its red rock formations and crimson soil. The Native Americans regarded it as sacred land, so much so that none of them actually settled there. I couldn't help thinking how appropriate it was, that the land was as blood-stained as its history. It reminded me of a scene from Gamalinda's Empire of Memory, where the land is called as witness as an earthquake regurgitates fossilized bones to remind the people of what they've failed to remember.



Life does go on, doesn't it?
It just bothers me how easy it is to forget.

And just like that, we innovate and built roads to modernize it. Now it's a tourist spot with commercial stores, restaurants, and even a museum. It was too easy to build over and cover up history. I can only wonder what happened long ago, on that very same spot that I was standing on.

Our first stop was this place called Blue Moon. It's a hole in the wall but it's known for it's crunchy pizza crusts and breakfast food. I had a root beer float and a Chicken Ranch Pizza with Jalapenos. Different, but delicious. I wouldn't mind going back.



After a filling lunch, we began our "tour." Driving around and stopping at all the look-out points. It was amazing. I thought to myself, "How can it be denied, that we are this small compared to this incredibly enormous world?" The rock formations towered over me, curving, dropping, sharply edging away toward the horizon. So much to see in this lifetime. I'm grateful for the gift of color.

Read more »