Bird in Flight

Fingers melt into sable wings.
I, a fluttering form
unable to escape these walls.
Nature dictates
its well-worn path--
This is north,
That is south.

I must go my own way.
But I cannot help
but be defined by you,
pulled by an instinct
born before me.

Ah, nature.
Or cruel fate?

I think we both yearn to break
away from this bond
and discover
our own shapes,
removed from these hands--
this glaring light,
that only illuminates our
incapacity to see beyond ourselves.

So why do we hold on
to this painful mimicry,
of me trying to be what you are,
a life void of color,
unable to let you go.

Read more »

Rationalize!

I ABHOR Omission!
Why? I would do the same.

Why?

It will just sour the talking!
You're talking about good things and then you're going to mix in those other people for no good reason?
How would that go, "Oh, by the way, I hung out with so-and-so"

But isn't honesty always first. What else is there, without honesty.

Peace?
How do you rescue that--hanging out with so-and-so?
To rescue it you have to say, "she's actually interesting"

I guess.

Which makes it even more weird!
The other option is "wala lang"
---Which is WORSE because you'll think he's being secretive!

Fine.
Rational, but not helpful.

So no exit talking about pointless meetings
So just omit!
Omission is the key to healthy relationshipssss.

What a lovely way to live.

Read more »

How much space does one person need?

So this is it...



This is the living room. LANG. hehe. I'm planning to make it my bedroom. :)
Then down here is the kitchen. It's HUUUGE.



And this is the bedroom which I plan to convert to my work room. :) It's really too much space for just one person.


Visitors, anybody? nudge. nudge.

Read more »

Orientales Putas!

(9th ave and Hudson? What does that MEAN? hahahaha!)

Last Sunday, we ended up drinking with J's friends from Kaplan. Apparently, there was a girl there who had a crush on her classmate so she got the wrong idea (thought J was after the guy) so she kinda got pissed. We thought it would be easier if we just left but the other girls told us to stay. So, we did.




We ended up drinking on the rooftop of their apartment.
The moon was full...with beer and drunken laughter.

"EXCUUSE, Why is two?"

Read more »

Is evanescence--fleetingness--a necessary element of the thing that most moves us?"
--Gregory Maguire

Read more »

Mikha's Fragile World

Read more »

We rejoice in our broken-ness.

"How children love the broken thing! And a puzzle is for the piecing together, especially for the young, who still believe it can be done."

Read more »

Where's Fluffy

" The way you're moving in your sleep
The way you look before you leap
The strange illusions that you keep,
You don't know, but I'm noticing. "

Read more »

No way out.

I'm so screwed.

I just found out that there are no trains to Boston in Turner Falls. Kill me now.

Read more »

No Titles

In between waking and dreaming
Of drunken stars and white silences,
Their gazes articulated what they felt
With words that would never be born.

for W.

Read more »

On Loss and Recycling

I've learned to accept that we need to adjust, that making decisions is also part of growth and survival. I've come to live with the dying of one part of me that belongs to the past and the resurrection of the parts that have transcended the pain.

In a way, there's the struggle to survive in spite of always feeling a helpless sense of loss. I simply comfort myself with the promise of a future. Its urgency of salvation, this need to recycle--evaporating the past as I move on, if only to return changed, falling joyfully to the depths below.

Read more »

Counting down

Communicating from a distance is a tough love affair.

I am pretty sure that the risks that I'm taking now is well worth it. No regrets. There's the future to look forward to...besides the struggle to preserve my present. But the dull-ache in my chest is not something that I hope to get used to.. I just know that I'd be so much happier with him being around. My own, personal, uplifter.

7 months to go...

Read more »

cheeky!

When have we ever been this sofffffttt??

Read more »

From the 25th of September 2006 'til today.

Just something I heard. And I just have to sigh and agree.

Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past can be any different.

Read more »