Rilke on Love and and Other Difficulties

If only we arrange our life according
to that principle which counsels us
that we must always hold to the difficult,
then that which now still seems to us
the most alien become what we
most trust and find most faithful.

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Spaces are Necessary.

It only takes one
hesitant step.
A simple movement.

I've decided.
I am "me." 

Beyond this point,
"We" no longer exist.

And I am alone.
And you aren't following. 

How does it feel to
dissolve into absence,
After years of re-membering
our ways to fit the gaps?

Memory is devoured by time.
And momentary edges remind us of what we've lost.

Music endures.
Sometime we tell stories.
For the past holds fondness for ignorance:
(I miss you, terribly.)
"It was always better then."
"This is our song!"
  
Although stretched taught,
Strings do not break away.
For it is in returning,
That leaving meant something.

A lone guitar wails for a moment,
have I already lost you?
Caressed by callused fingers,
We are used to playing this game of departure and return:
Hush, I am here.
Strings merge and separate
into a melody, a duet breaks a century of silence.

[There is constant space between us.
There has always been space between us.]

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This is Where We Live by Pablo Neruda

I am grateful to the earth

for having waited

for me

when the sky and sea came together

like two lips touching;

for that's no small thing, no?--

to have lived

through one solitude to arrive at another,

to feel oneself many things and recover wholeness.

I love all the things there are,

and of all fires

love is the only inexhaustible one;

and that's why I go from life to life,

from guitar to guitar,

and I have no fear

of light or of shade,

and almost being earth myself,

I spoon away at infinity.

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Oct. 22, 2009 Evening playlist

Pick of the night: Do You Realize??- The Flaming Lips

One Chance- Modest Mouse
Electric Feel- MGMT
On Call- Kings of Leon
I will Follow Your into the Dark- Death Cab
Finer Feelings- Spoon
Read My Mind- The Killers
Australia- The Shins
Closer- Kings of Leon
The Ocean Breathes Salty- Modest Mouse



Do You Realize? that you have the most beautiful face
Do You Realize? we're floating in space
Do You Realize? that happiness makes you cry
Do You Realize? that everyone you know someday will die

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes, let them know
You realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do You Realize? that everyone you know
Someday will die.

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Leaves in a puddle.

 

This is where C and I ended up the other day. I found an inky puddle on the road with fall leaves drowning in it.

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φῶς (phos) "light" and γραφή (graphê)

Drawing with Light

This is our fate:
to see things that aren't there.
The next movement is an anticipated
syncopation,
breaking into gesture.
A sigh, a head lays on a shoulder.

This is our fate:
To forget what we saw,
For color cannot be remembered.
Light falls differently on every eye absorbing a moment.

This is our fate:
To know the difference.
For to compose, composite, de-compose,
is to choose a story.
(They will never know.)
They should know,
that reality does not satisfy the dreamer.

This is our fate:
To blink, to lose an instant to time.
For clicking opens the shutter long enough,
only to close as quickly.
Eyes water and to dream is a forgivable luxury.

This is our fate:
to step away from ourselves.
For distance allows us to focus, unfocus,
until the decisive moment.

This is our fate:
To record history with silence.
For every print trades its lightness for gravity.
A mimicry of stories unfold in front of the viewers gaze.

(to be continued within the course of the year. probably. hopefully!)
This just might evolve into one of my pet projects. I'm thinking of taking photos to match each stanza and perhaps put together a small book.

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Enough is enough.

3am mornings in a row. Death to the witching hour.

I think I made up for my lack of sleep in the worst way. I kept on passing out in school at random intervals except when it mattered: dinner time! Such. a. fatty.

I suppose make-up sleep was overdue because during IT class, a photo of a tree/sky reflection started to look like faces every time I'd open my eyes after dozing off. It reminded me of my bathroom walls back home.

Ah, home. What I would give to sleep soundly.

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October 20th Morning Playlist

Marching Bands of Manhattan- Death Cab for Cutie
Passing Afternoon- Iron & Wine
Bulletproof Weeks- Matt Nathanson
On your Porch- The Format
Only You- Joshua Radin
This Modern Love- Bloc Party
The Swell Season- Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova

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3AM again.

I hope these 3AM mornings aren't becoming a habit. Sleep, would you be so kind to let me dream? I prefer silence, instead of this humming quiet of thoughts creeping from shadowy corners. Come to think of it, I've been listening to music constantly.

It's only 7am and the day is already half-way over! That's what I get for keeping up with the timezones. Good evening, Manila. It's time to chase some frost.

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Dead stars

At the parking lot in front of the bowling alley, O and I decided to play around with his 50mm. With all the lights on the streets, who would've thought we'd catch all these stars staring down at us.

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Washing

Sorrow seeps through cupped hands
like water taken against it's will.
It cannot be contained.
Tears
brim over the edges,
like bleeding watercolor on white paper.
The world is a gasp of shapes,
lacking in dimension.
I blink to give way to gravity's course.

It's best not to fight it,
in exchange for clarity.

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Why does the world birth brokenness?

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Once: Falling Slowly.

Gravity is cruel.



I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

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Photoshoots in the white room, almost bedroom

Shooting on a Sunday after helping out in school. You know you love what you're doing when you can't help but do it 24/7. FOR FUN.

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