Sometimes I wonder what the past meant for us to be reincarnated like this--traveling in parallel paths, hoping for intersection. There is no need for fences or walls now that we exist on the same plane. I suppose we were destined to seek comfort in the periphery. Did it take centuries to learn how to live apart, disciplined and unable to remember what it is to curve, to lean over--to touch the small of someone's back? This constant attempt to search for you is like an old habit of loss. I probably lost you so many times: to someone, to something somewhere. So many times, that sometimes, I don't even remember what it was like to find you.
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Lights will guide you home
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
This is the perfect fog-blinking-lights-song. "You could be happy" by Snow Patrol.
November 16, 2009: On the way home from school it was so foggy. All I could see were colorful lights glowing from a distance. Here's the street where I live, viewed from the parking lot.
<
Read more »
November 16, 2009: On the way home from school it was so foggy. All I could see were colorful lights glowing from a distance. Here's the street where I live, viewed from the parking lot.
<
The Beauty of Sorrow by Eric Gamalinda
Saturday, November 14, 2009
The Beauty of Sorrow, after Pauline Oliveros
The best time to look at sorrow
is a quarter before midnight.
It looks dead from the ground up,
a single withered stick.
Then opens gently,
like the luna flower.
It bursts with all the radiant loneliness
of the desert,
a shock of moonlight that pulses
only once a year,
when you least expect it,
when you've forgotten
the intoxication,
the pungent scent of grief.
.......
Reina de la noche
covers the arid valley
from here to the moon.
They open their mouths
like fish in water,
sucking in the dry air.
Their small tongues
are smeared with silver.
Such beauty can never last.
.......
The best time to listen to sorrow
is anytime if you are
in the desert.
You can listen to it
in the just intonation
of summer, when everything
is one music, seamless and slow.
I like to place my ear against
your sternum, I like to hear life
being pumped all over you.
I like the way the sage
is always silent
and full of healing,
if we only knew.
It's not like here,
in this shitty apartment,
where sorrow yells in your ear
and all you hear
is your heart opening and closing,
and only because
it's supposed to.
.......
I can live with sorrow
all day without you.
I've gotten good
at making it feel at home.
I think I will get even better
tomorrow, and the day
after tomorrow.
I will be so good I will have
rivals, I will evoke such envy.
I will wear it around my neck,
the way those pimps
wear a viper sometimes,
just to show they're somebody,
just to show they're special and mean.
I can live without you
sometimes, I can feel your name
scratched into my heart
like graffiti.
Someone must have left it there
in the dead of night,
when no one was looking.
I swear it wasn't me.
.......
If there's a best time to eat sorrow
it must be now,
when your hunger gnaws so deep
it feels like having a soul.
You can let it take over you
like the spirit
the shaman wakes
with a single drum.
You can turn it into poetry
or religion, whatever
is easier to swallow.
Either way it remains
what it is,
a slow, elusive bloom
that opens your body up,
and you can't help staring
at the dead light streaming
towards you,
the dead waking the living
with these small revelations.
Read more »
The best time to look at sorrow
is a quarter before midnight.
It looks dead from the ground up,
a single withered stick.
Then opens gently,
like the luna flower.
It bursts with all the radiant loneliness
of the desert,
a shock of moonlight that pulses
only once a year,
when you least expect it,
when you've forgotten
the intoxication,
the pungent scent of grief.
.......
Reina de la noche
covers the arid valley
from here to the moon.
They open their mouths
like fish in water,
sucking in the dry air.
Their small tongues
are smeared with silver.
Such beauty can never last.
.......
The best time to listen to sorrow
is anytime if you are
in the desert.
You can listen to it
in the just intonation
of summer, when everything
is one music, seamless and slow.
I like to place my ear against
your sternum, I like to hear life
being pumped all over you.
I like the way the sage
is always silent
and full of healing,
if we only knew.
It's not like here,
in this shitty apartment,
where sorrow yells in your ear
and all you hear
is your heart opening and closing,
and only because
it's supposed to.
.......
I can live with sorrow
all day without you.
I've gotten good
at making it feel at home.
I think I will get even better
tomorrow, and the day
after tomorrow.
I will be so good I will have
rivals, I will evoke such envy.
I will wear it around my neck,
the way those pimps
wear a viper sometimes,
just to show they're somebody,
just to show they're special and mean.
I can live without you
sometimes, I can feel your name
scratched into my heart
like graffiti.
Someone must have left it there
in the dead of night,
when no one was looking.
I swear it wasn't me.
.......
If there's a best time to eat sorrow
it must be now,
when your hunger gnaws so deep
it feels like having a soul.
You can let it take over you
like the spirit
the shaman wakes
with a single drum.
You can turn it into poetry
or religion, whatever
is easier to swallow.
Either way it remains
what it is,
a slow, elusive bloom
that opens your body up,
and you can't help staring
at the dead light streaming
towards you,
the dead waking the living
with these small revelations.
Gamalinda
La Ruinas del Corazon
(Continue...)
But before she did, she asked the poets to record these moments
in song, and the architects to carve the song in marble,
and the marble to be extracted from the most secret veins
of the earth and placed where no man could see it,
because that is the nature of love, because one walks alone
through the ruins of the heart, because the young must sleep
with their eyes open, because the angels tremble
from so much beauty, because memory moves in orbits
of absence, because she holds her hands out in the rain,
and rain remembers nothing, not even how it became itself.
Read more »
(Continue...)
But before she did, she asked the poets to record these moments
in song, and the architects to carve the song in marble,
and the marble to be extracted from the most secret veins
of the earth and placed where no man could see it,
because that is the nature of love, because one walks alone
through the ruins of the heart, because the young must sleep
with their eyes open, because the angels tremble
from so much beauty, because memory moves in orbits
of absence, because she holds her hands out in the rain,
and rain remembers nothing, not even how it became itself.
Thanks Cams and Mikael.
Subterranean by Eric Gamalinda
Let me be the first to say
that I know the name for everything
and if I don't I'll make them up:
dukkha, naufragio, talinhaga.
Just like the young
whose hearts give no shame,
I love the excesses of beauty,
there is never enough sunlight
in the world I will live in,
never enough room for love.
I fear none of us will last long enough
to prove what I've always suspected,
that the sky is a membrane
in an angel's skull,
trees talk to each other at night,
ice is water in a state of silence,
the embryo listens to everything we say.
I am afraid for the child skipping rope
on the corner of my street,
the girl on the train with flowers in her hair,
the man whose memory is entirely
in Spanish. I am more afraid of losing consciousness
when I go to sleep, or that in my sleep
I will grow old and forget how desire
once drove me mad with wakefulness.
Just like the perfect seasons
they will die
and I will die
and you will die also;
no one knows who will go first,
and this is the source
of all my grief.
Read more »
Let me be the first to say
that I know the name for everything
and if I don't I'll make them up:
dukkha, naufragio, talinhaga.
Just like the young
whose hearts give no shame,
I love the excesses of beauty,
there is never enough sunlight
in the world I will live in,
never enough room for love.
I fear none of us will last long enough
to prove what I've always suspected,
that the sky is a membrane
in an angel's skull,
trees talk to each other at night,
ice is water in a state of silence,
the embryo listens to everything we say.
I am afraid for the child skipping rope
on the corner of my street,
the girl on the train with flowers in her hair,
the man whose memory is entirely
in Spanish. I am more afraid of losing consciousness
when I go to sleep, or that in my sleep
I will grow old and forget how desire
once drove me mad with wakefulness.
Just like the perfect seasons
they will die
and I will die
and you will die also;
no one knows who will go first,
and this is the source
of all my grief.
Labels:
Eric Gamalinda
Posture
I think being required to pose for my classmates has ingrained a completely different sense of myself--a posture, an awareness of what people are seeing when they look at me. It's awkward being watched, especially if you are anything like me. But then again, being surrounded by such talented people, after everything, I do enjoy seeing what they did see. It's not about feeling beautiful but more about learning how to work with gesture, emotion, and revealing a sense of myself to someone in a natural and ordinary way. This is what I want to attain whenever I photograph someone--to be able to discover qualities of them, a quietness and a touch of honesty that's theirs alone.
The best part of it is, I'm learning this valuable quality of seeing/being seen in a fun way because I'm with such dedicated friends. It's taught me how to step away from myself and think as an observer, see myself apart from the 'me' in front of the camera. Although sometimes I wonder how much a photographer should do to cause a reaction. I suppose it is a balance of things--of watching as closely as possible but at the same time not showing it and allowing the subject to feel comfortably "unwatched."
It was a Friday night and of course my friends and I decided to head back to school. It's week 9 and we have free use of the portrait and commercial (product/table top) studios. This is a photo that my good friend, Shaun took last night that I absolutely love.
We are taught to start with darkness and bring something to light. This is the joy of seeing.
Read more »
The best part of it is, I'm learning this valuable quality of seeing/being seen in a fun way because I'm with such dedicated friends. It's taught me how to step away from myself and think as an observer, see myself apart from the 'me' in front of the camera. Although sometimes I wonder how much a photographer should do to cause a reaction. I suppose it is a balance of things--of watching as closely as possible but at the same time not showing it and allowing the subject to feel comfortably "unwatched."
It was a Friday night and of course my friends and I decided to head back to school. It's week 9 and we have free use of the portrait and commercial (product/table top) studios. This is a photo that my good friend, Shaun took last night that I absolutely love.
We are taught to start with darkness and bring something to light. This is the joy of seeing.
I miss youuu.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
What can I say? The night was action-packed.
Oh, I am a fool.
Is foolish.
Is fooling.
Is falling down a rabbit hole.
The past is done and over.
Is over again and again.
Monday, November 09, 2009
Phase 1 is OVER. :) The review went pretty well. My pictures (stopping motion and backlighting with flash) were called the best ones in class during the three times that our stuff were up there. :) Now it's phase 2. And seriously time to clean my apartment.
Read more »
Phase 1 Final
For our Phase 1 final, we had to produce 10 images: stopping motion, showing motion, an outdoor portrait, warm on cool colors, cool on cool colors, backlighting with flash, indoor flash, product shot, breaking lines and a self portrait.
These are what I came up with. :)
Read more »
These are what I came up with. :)
My chaotic life.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
It IS the week of Phase 1 final.... Cut me some slack? :D
Read more »
Desert Sunrise
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Brett Dennen - Desert Sunrise lyrics a desert sunrise, you warm my soul painting me in shades of clay covering me whole and I'm a lizard, sunbathing in your radiance Oh, I come out of hiding, so sweet so sweet you are if I could only have a taste wrap my lips around your flavor just because you are you just because you are, so beautiful and I've been waiting all this life in the company of one and I know I am young but I don't want to be alone if you could only just consider the two of us and I know darling I could be so good to you I see you rising on the horizon bringing light into the day and I'm coasting on your rays when I awoke, you spoke through the mist of the mystic bliss casting shadows on all my dismal yesterdays do you remember that you told me, darling that I was so real I tell you all my tears for you are real and we'll cross that bridge again some day I know we will I hope we will desert sunset, a lullaby if I could give it all to you if you'd only let me try sing so sweetly, it's my only wish music drips from your lips like sweet sips of a summer's kiss summer raindrops are precious, tongues twist and I've been waiting all this life in the company of one and I know I am young but I don't want to be alone if you could only just consider the two of us I know darling I could be so good to you I see you rising, on the horizon bringing light into the day and I'm coasting on your rays when I awoke and you spoke through the mist of a mystic bliss casting shadows on all my dismal yesterdays do you remember that you told me, darling that I was so real I tell you all my tears for you are real we'll cross that bridge again some day I know we will I hope we will desert moonrise, into the night before we lay our heads I wish to walk under the splendorous starlight sing so sweetly, it's the sweetest sound and I've become weak in the knees and I drop down and kiss the ground and all my cares lie far below in this earth I wish to die in this hearth my fire grows
If you gotta run, run from hope!
Friday, November 06, 2009
Morning Playlist:
Desert Sunrise- Brett Dennen
Flightless Bird- Iron & Wine
Blue Skies- Noah and the Whale
Out in the Black- Imaad Wasif
Delicate- Damien Rice
Cinder and Smoke- Iron and Wine
Let Go- Frou Frou
Outloud- Dispatch
Situations- Jack Johnson
This Seat is Taken-The Mysteries of Life
Come and Find me- Josh Ritter
She's Only Happy in the Sun- Ben Harper
Throw me a Rope- KT Tunstall
I want you between me and the feeling i get when i miss you,
but everything here's telling me i should be fine,
so why is it so, it bothers below that i'm missing you every time?
i got used to you whispering things to me into the evening,
we followed the sun, and it's colours, and left this world,
it seems to me, that i'm definitely, hearing the best that i've heard
so throw me a rope, to hold me in place,
show me a clock, for counting my days, down,
cos everythings easier when you're beside me,
come back and find me,
cos i feel alone.
and whenever you go it's like holding my breath under water,
i have to admit that i kinda like it when i do,
oh but i got to be, unconditionally,
unafraid, of my days, without you,
so throw me a rope, to hold me in place,
show me a clock, for counting my days, down,
'cos everything easier when you're beside me,
come back and find me,
whenever i'm falling, you're always behind me,
come back and find me,
cos everythings easier when you're beside me,
come back and find me,
cos i feel alone
Read more »
Desert Sunrise- Brett Dennen
Flightless Bird- Iron & Wine
Blue Skies- Noah and the Whale
Out in the Black- Imaad Wasif
Delicate- Damien Rice
Cinder and Smoke- Iron and Wine
Let Go- Frou Frou
Outloud- Dispatch
Situations- Jack Johnson
This Seat is Taken-The Mysteries of Life
Come and Find me- Josh Ritter
She's Only Happy in the Sun- Ben Harper
Throw me a Rope- KT Tunstall
I want you between me and the feeling i get when i miss you,
but everything here's telling me i should be fine,
so why is it so, it bothers below that i'm missing you every time?
i got used to you whispering things to me into the evening,
we followed the sun, and it's colours, and left this world,
it seems to me, that i'm definitely, hearing the best that i've heard
so throw me a rope, to hold me in place,
show me a clock, for counting my days, down,
cos everythings easier when you're beside me,
come back and find me,
cos i feel alone.
and whenever you go it's like holding my breath under water,
i have to admit that i kinda like it when i do,
oh but i got to be, unconditionally,
unafraid, of my days, without you,
so throw me a rope, to hold me in place,
show me a clock, for counting my days, down,
'cos everything easier when you're beside me,
come back and find me,
whenever i'm falling, you're always behind me,
come back and find me,
cos everythings easier when you're beside me,
come back and find me,
cos i feel alone
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