I'm in the middle of reading Sebastian Night..and can I just say that it articulates the You in my head and the You that I know so perfectly? Sometimes I don't know if I've created you so poetically sound in my mind that every time you are unconventional it seems like it's rational that you aren't rational?
p.41-42
Sebastian in spite of himself realized with perhaps a kind of helpless amazement that no matter how wisely and sweetly his surroundings played up to his old dreams, he himself, or rather still the most precious part of himself, would remain hopelessly alone as it had always been. The keynote of Sebastian's life was solitude and the kindlier fate tried to make him feel at home by counterfeiting admirably the things he thought he wanted, the more he was aware of his inability to fit into the picture,--into any kind of picture. When at last he thoroughly understood this and grimly stated to cultivate self-consciousness as if it had been some kind of rare talent or passion, only then did Sebastian derive real satisfaction from its rich and monstrous growth, ceasing to worry about his awkward congeniality--but that was much later.
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p.41-42
Sebastian in spite of himself realized with perhaps a kind of helpless amazement that no matter how wisely and sweetly his surroundings played up to his old dreams, he himself, or rather still the most precious part of himself, would remain hopelessly alone as it had always been. The keynote of Sebastian's life was solitude and the kindlier fate tried to make him feel at home by counterfeiting admirably the things he thought he wanted, the more he was aware of his inability to fit into the picture,--into any kind of picture. When at last he thoroughly understood this and grimly stated to cultivate self-consciousness as if it had been some kind of rare talent or passion, only then did Sebastian derive real satisfaction from its rich and monstrous growth, ceasing to worry about his awkward congeniality--but that was much later.
